Religions That Should Be There

How should modern religions look like? Depending on today’s global trends, it appears that some of these religions are really close to existence. Here are some possible ones.

1. The Church of Apple (The Apple company Church)

The members of this church, also called Users are, one might say, people with obsessive Apple disorder that are committed to all that Steve Jobs did. That’s about it. These people believe in themselves and their own kind – they have about 20-some years, are very in love with the technology (which we have listed), swear by the aforementioned company and believe that everything is better than its competitors and even more having the Apple, mainly iPad, product means be on a higher social ladder. The forms of their practices are full-day communication with the holy device, job search – and their only job will be spending time with that holy device. The religious holiday is products’ day-to-market.

2. The United House Of Jon Stewart

Followers of this Church are liftist and they believe that American political system and the media are corrupted, and the television presenter Jon Stewart is great and he should run for president. Jon is not God and they don’t look at him that way, but agree that there should be only one head of the church and it should just him. Activities are writing letters directly to the top, analyzing channels such as CNN and Fox News , sending letters to editors, voting and blogging. Everything is very intense. Religious holidays are all they that John can mak fun of, even the 9/11 and the election day.

3. The Church of Latter Day Hipster-Haters

Followers are always on the internet and believe that any attempt to stand out at anything or enter the community is meaningless, and bad by itself, that one should not follow trends but rather be dressed in the colors of the weather; elitism is bad , Tumblr site is bad, listening to lesser-known music groups is bad, if you have more than 20 years – it must be that you are bad too. All activities that are hipster-like are bad. Religious holidays are days when the long-awaited blockbuster or the latest episodes of telenovelas come out.

4. The Religion of New York City

The supporters are proud people who live in New York, they worship everything that is easily accesible to them and the fact that they can easily come to the places they meet, and where they can see all the famous faces. What the followers of this Church swear in are their own photos in front of sights of Big Apple, with famous faces or faces less familiar to them because everything is available, right? They actually love themselves. Their activities are closely related to the online society. They constantly tweet and post statuses so they could tell us where they are, what they eat, with whom they eat, what they put on and so on. New York is set in the background, a battle over which deity is higher – they or the city, continues. They go out every Friday and Saturday. Religious holidays are the Brooklyn Music Festival, all parties organized by the magazines “Vice” and “Elle” or some other cultural giants.

5. The Internet’s Angry Hordes

They are very strict when it comes to internet grammar, they like political correctness and stand still on its side, can not stand typos, no one should be paid for the text in which there are mistakes, one should not declare about philosophy that gives their own opinions as it is considered ‘showing off’, all internet content is analyzed in detail and they’re chasing the editors who published the politically incorrect texts. Activities  are reduced to French toast, they all love it. Nothing is known about the gods. Religious holidays are the days of illness and public holidays.