I’m Going to Hell for This

Pride, sloth or laziness, envy, anger, greed, fornication and intemperance in eating and drinking are biblical mortal/deadly sins, but in modern time they become almost absurd in the comparison to much bigger and worse problems of civilization it seems, so people forget about them. Yeah, it is about 7 mortal sins, only in the funny way…

7. Envy

Very frequent disease at both men and women of all ages. A virus so wicked that I’m still confused that WHO (World Health Organization) hasn’t treated it better, or proclaimed pandemic. This virus attacks the brain directly and it is capable to destroy every piece of common sense in human. There is a difference between the host (an envious person) and the object of envy (a person that is treated with envy, that sometimes equals hatred, by the host). Object can be either one person, but also any person that is better from the host in any way, too. The dangerous thing about this disease is that it is not so easy to recognize – sometimes the host pretends to be a friend of the object and it is often already too late when the host is uncovered.

6. Laziness

I’ll define it tomorrow.

5. Wrath

The feeling that would have existed in Anne Frank if she knew that now everyone is reading her diary.

4. Fornication

Familiar with the story of Sodom and Gomorrah? This would be pretty much it… There is one famous saying about fornication that I’ll have to quote – “Only a poor boob pays his money, loses his watch, gets the syph and brags that he had a good time”. Completely true! Especially when it comes to men and their wish for the intercourse with as much women as possible. By the way, today’s popular f-word actually means Fornication Under the Consent of the King, know the word?

3. Parsimony/Greed

It is like a concept of living poorly in order to die rich, I cannot think of the better definition.

2. Intemperance in eating and drinking

There is an old Latin proverb that says that a man eats in order to live and doesn’t live in order to eat. We can add ‘drink’ to this, and there’s our second mortal sin. Depending on culture, intemperance in eating and drinking may be considered as a vice, but also as a status symbol. In places where the food is scarce, eating well may be the matter of pride, to ‘prove’ oneself to those who are less fortunate. In cultures where food is available, it can be considered as a sign of self-control to resist overeating. The irony of life – some people don’t have a simple foodstuff as bread to eat, while others choose not to eat it because of gaining weight. Gluttony is a disorder, meaning that something devours us from the inside.

1. Pride

As the Devil from Devil’s Advocate (Al Pacino) said – Vanity, definitely my favorite sin. Well, here’s an illustration of Pride in student’s life – it is like when you run into the exam room so self-centered and confident, with the attitude of Lord Byron, sit across the professor and look at him/her in the eyes like Clint Eastwood looked some Texas bum, take your questions and have a quick look on them and in the Charles Bronson’s style throw them back because – that’s just the reason you came to the exam at all.